Just some thinking...

As I begin planning my wedding[Oct. 31st 2014!], I start thinking back on various points in my life, all the people that have been in it, shaped me into who I am today.

Then I think of all of the events that have happened in my life, from the friends I've made, the friends I've lost, becoming homeschooled, redoing my whole high school career, kids, college, working, etc. and it makes me realize just how much has changed from the time I was little.

I almost never ever talk to the people I once used to be in elementary school with, the people I had grown up with. I still keep in touch with one, and I think back to how close we used to be in school. I had always admired how strong she was after her mother had passed away and she took on taking care of her siblings, and the house, and it was just so amazing. And now she's a college graduate and an engineer of some sorts and is just amazing. She's getting married in the spring to an amazing guy which is super awesome. And she recently posted pictures of her younger siblings graduating from college and holy crap do I feel old. I remember when they were little! But, she's always been an amazing person and an amazing friend. Even though we've dropped out of touch over the years, though slowly getting back in touch, and don't get together at all, she's always been one of my friends. And I've always admired her over the years for everything she's accomplished in her life.

It's people like that, that keep me going when I'm having a down moment. Which, I tend to have a lot of. But hopefully once I figure out what I'm doing with my life, and get everything else figured out, things will get tons better. I may have been set back by many obstacles in my life, and this crazy insane person is not going to let them get in her way and stop her. I've been through so much in my life, that anything else that happens will probably just be a shrug of the shoulders. I know I can do it.

I will never let people drag me down again. It's never any good, and it really makes your days sucky.

And now, after the random jumble of words, back to Pinterest for more wedding ideas! Life is great!

Let's be honest...being a parent sometime sucks.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my kids but even the best of people have limits and kids, especially young kids seem to push them quite often.

I'm constantly being told that I'm a supermom, and frankly I hate it. I feel like I've got all these standards placed upon me and when I don't meet them, I feel like such a failure.

I work a super early shift, 3:45am, I go to school full time, and now I'm trying to add on a second job to help make ends meet and have a bit of cushioning for bills/things to get done and maybe have extra money to do things with the kids. I'm not going to be seeing the kids a whole lot come August if I manage to get a second job. It's going to suck, but in order to keep a roof over our heads, and the electric on, we have to get ahead on our bills somehow.

And I hear a lot that we should enjoy every moment we have with our kids. Which, I try. But when Michael is holding in his poop and it's going on three or four days straight, and every five minutes he's screeching his little head off, that really starts wearing on the nerves. I don't love every minute of him doing that. I've tried everything I can think of to force him to go, suppositories, miralax[dr. recommendation], various assortments of fruits and juices and he still holds it in. I made him sit on his potty and for over half an hour he screeched, screamed, and cried his little head off until he went. I didn't enjoy that. What is there to enjoy about that? It was exhausting and really wore on my nerves a bit. I have sensitive hearing and having him screaming right in my ear for that whole time gave me a migraine. Next doctor appointment we have I'm going to really push for them to help me with his holding it in thing besides always prescribing Miralax. Miralax does nothing. He's not constipated, he's holding it in. There's a difference.

They constantly are fighting over toys, what to watch, what to eat, they constantly are getting into things they aren't supposed to. Time-outs, sent to their room, a quick swat to the hand[if playing with something dangerous], redirection, you name it I've tried it and it just doesn't sink in. I've got very stubborn children.

There are times I just need a chance to get out and breathe for a few moments and try to recollect myself. ~There's nothing wrong with that.~ There are days that I'm so stressed out from putting them in time out most of the day and the tantrums, that I really really want a drink or two by the end of the night. ~There's nothing wrong with that either. ~ Doesn't mean I ever get a chance to have that drink because I very rarely have alcohol in the house, due to my kids being extremely smart and know how to get around most child locks and they can reach most areas of the house if they stand on a chair.

I love my kids to death, but it doesn't mean I have to enjoy every single second or every single little thing that they do. I'm not a supermom. I'm not perfect. But I try to do the best that I can for my kids. Sometimes that means being out of the house for many hours a day for work and to go to school so I can get a better job. But I'm trying.

Right now, I'm sitting outside on the steps, enjoying the cool night air while trying to relax after a day filled with "No! Stop that! Don't use your sister as a pillow! No biting your brother!" and time outs galore for throwing things at each other and what have you. Being a parent sometimes sucks, but I wouldn't trade it at all. I love my kids to much, even if they do wear down my nerves and give me migraines from time to time.

Until next time. <3

Bubbles, Cheese Toast, and Eggs oh My!

So, last evening was a ton of fun. Took the kids outside to play with bubbles and run around in the yard since it wasn't so ungodly hot out. And since they were fairly well behaved, throughout the day it was a nice treat for them. Emily though kept trying to eat the bubble solution. Granted, I'm sure they smelled good since I had picked up the scented bubbles, but they were not meant for eating.

Sitting on the steps blowing bubbles

Kevin blowing bubbles for Emily to chase

Getting tired from running around

All in all it was a really good evening with the kids. It even wore them out enough to not fight over things all night in their room. It was great!

Then today, I made an awesome snack for them that I had found on Pinterest. I love that site so much. Spend so many hours on there. But it was a mozarella, tomato, onion toast thing. Well I had the mozarella and the bread and figured that would work as well. So put thick pieces of mozzarella on bread, put it in the oven, and set it to broil. And when it came out I sprinkled a little bit of garlic salt on top and yummy!

YUMMY!

Also, yesterday evening the kids and I started an experiment with an egg, another thing I had found on Pinterest. Called the Naked Egg. Take an egg, put it in a cup/bowl, and then fill it with vinegar until the egg is covered. The acid in the vinegar eats away at the calcium on the egg, so you let it sit for about a day or overnight and the shell should be gone. 

Egg in the Vinegar

Then today, we took another bowl, dumped the vinegar out, and I wiped off the rest of the shell that was left. And all that was left was like the membrane of the egg with the yolk inside. It felt similar to a bouncy ball. 

Naked Egg!

One thing I've learned today that if you have any open wounds, in my case it was a hang nail that had caught on something at work and started bleeding, the vinegar buuuuurns. So gloves of some sort might be advisable. The kids found it extremely fascinating that the egg had no shell, at first they were afraid to touch it. But then we put it in water because in water it can get bigger due to osmosis or something like that. I'm not very sciencey, I just like the experiments. 

Both of them playing with the egg in the water

The egg is also somewhat bouncey so it got tossed a couple of times as the kids fought over it. 

"The egg is mine!"

Eventually though, to much playing with it caused it to splatter when it fell on the ground. 

SPLAT

I also recommend that one does this on a surface that is not carpet. Heh, but the egg wasn't to terribly bad to clean up. The kids were upset when it splattered, but maybe eventually we'll do it again and I'll make two eggs, one for each of them. 

All in all, the kids have had a couple of fun filled days. We might even make a cake tonight and put nerds in the batter and make our own funfetti cake, another Pinterest find. I swear, if you aren't on Pinterest, you should check it out. So many recipes and ideas and fun things to do on there. 

Have a nice night everyone!

Magical Money Appear!

Well, I don't think that worked. Ah wells.

So, I've been busy the last couple of weeks, dealing with straightening things out with the landlord so we didn't lose our place of residence, work, keeping up with the kids, and so much more stuff.

This weekend was a nice break though, as I went to a few rummage sales with Kevin's mom, and then Kevin and I took the kids to Old Mcdonald's farm. Which was a small thing run by the local 4-H group at the fairgrounds. The kids got to see baby cows, chicks[from hatching in an incubator to big chicks], turkeys, and various other farm animals. Even a peacock!

Michael looking at the peacock.

Emily looks so adorable in pigtails by the way! Like oh my god, super cute and if I could figure out how to put her hair up myself, she'd be in pigtails all the time. 

Emily with pigtails

Daddy put her pigtails in before we went to see all the baby animals. I have a feeling daddy will be the one doing her hair most of the time. I don't even have the patience to deal with my own hair. Heh. 

So, when we have some extra funds, I plan on dragging everyone out to various events that are nearby. Perhaps maybe I'll take the kids to the Sterling Renaissance Festival sometime this summer. It might be fun for them. 

In the meantime though, it's still a process getting the house all organized. But we're making progress on the kids' room. Emily is no longer in a crib but instead is in a toddler bed! My little girl is getting so big! Next couple of projects for in their room is to finish tearing down the wallpaper, getting a new window in, repainting, and finishing up the closet. I'd love to put new carpet in their room but carpeting is so expensive. So we'll see on that. 

And now, I'll sign off for now. Enjoy yourselves everyone! :)